With You
by Bishonen Chaser
Summary: When Heero finally realizes that what he's done will have violent consequences he decides to take matters into his own hands. (rating for murder and suicide)


With You

I woke up in a dream today

I took a cold to the static

Put my cold feet on the floor

Forgot about yesterday

Remembering I'm pretending to be where I'm not anymore.

A little taste of hypocrisy

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake

Slow to react

Heero opened his eyes and tried to remember where he was. It didn't take him long to figure it out. "The mission!" Heero remembered. Heero brought a hand to his face. "Oh God, the mission." He moaned. Heero promised himself that it wouldn't be like it was the night before as he sat up. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as Heero put his cold feet on the equally cold floor. Heero could only hope it was a dream but he knew it was for real.

"It was a mistake…" he whispered. "I have to get out of here." Heero stood up from the bed and made his way to the bathroom.

Even though you're so close to me

You're still so far away

And I can't bring you back

                Heero stared at his reflection for a few moments and then he focused his eyes on another reflection in the mirror, a bed. The bed he had just gotten off of. The bed where the body still lay.

                "Oh God!" Heero sighed. Heero quickly washed his face and then he slowly turned back to the bed. He took one step and then another, not allowing himself to look at the lifeless body that lay in front of him. Heero's heart beat faster the closer he got.

"I have to get out of here before what I've done is discovered." Heero walked to the door and as he did he felt sick, sick with guilt. It hadn't been this way with the others, just her. He looked once more upon her empty body. He wished that he hadn't gone through with it. He wished that he could bring her back. She was an arms length from him but he couldn't touch her…and he hadn't in 3 years.

It's true the way I feel was promised by your face

The sound of your voice painted on my memories

Even if you're not with me I'm with you

                As Heero left the apartment he could still see her face and hear the words she had told him all those years ago. Heero began to run and the farther from her he got the closer she seemed to get, but never close enough. She would never be close enough to bring back. Never close enough to make right the sin committed.

You, now I see

Keeping everything inside

You, now I see

Even when I close my eyes

                Heero opened the door to his apartment and walked in. he was breathing heavily and soaking wet. It had started pouring while he was running to his apartment and now his mind had gone into automatic.

                "I have to leave town. I should have left last night." Heero stuffed a couple of pairs of clothing into a backpack and went into the bathroom to pack up what little he had in there. He didn't have time for guilt, all he had to do was get out of there before the body was found. As Heero was stuffing things into his bag he noticed the TV remote on the counter. He turned on the TV to see if they knew of the death yet. As the TV droned on Heero continued to pack. After listening for a few minutes Heero knew that no body had been found and he sighed a sigh of relief, but as he closed his eyes he once again saw her face lying on the bed. The blank, lifeless eyes stared mockingly up at him. Heero dropped the bag and his things spilled out. Heero stood for a minute at least but to him it seemed like an eternity. Finally Heero came out of the trance and grabbed the bag and stuffed his things back in and left the apartment behind…and hopefully the memories as well.

I hit you and you hit me back 

We fall to the floor

The rest of the day stands still

A fine line between this and that

When things go wrong I pretend that the past isn't real

I'm trapped in this memory

And I'm left in the wake of the mistake

Slow to react

So even though you're so close to me 

You're still so distant and I can't being you back

It's true the way I feel was promised by your face

The sound of your voice painted on my memories

Even if you're not with me 

I'm with you

                As Heero took his place on the space shuttle he breathed a little easier. All Heero could do now was relax…he hoped. He soon drifted off to sleep.

*Flashback* 

                Heero picked the lock on Relena's apartment door and quietly slipped inside. Relena appeared to be sleeping on her bed. Heero stared at her for a moment, only a moment and then he took out his gun and just as he was about to shoot Heero thought he heard a sound behind him. Heero spun around to find nothing but inky blackness. Focusing once more Heero turned. The emotions came flying at him and when they hit it felt like a brick wall. Heero was aware of nothing for only a few seconds and when he regained his sanity the gun was on the floor and Heero was leaning over the bed his hands covered in Relena's blood. 

                "Heero…I don't understand…I…I thought…"

                Relena never finished. Her words a deeper blow than any gun shot. Heero shook his head was she still alive? No, he had hallucinated. She was dead, her eyes open and lifeless. Heero knew what his mind was trying to tell him and all of a sudden an overwhelming guilt came over him and Heero broke down. He gave up all sanity and all free will and cried himself to exhaustion there on her bed. Sometime before morning he fell asleep.

*End flashback* 

You, now I see

Keeping everything inside

You, now I see

Even when I close my eyes

No, No matter how far we've come

I can't wait to see tomorrow

With you

                Heero woke up and realized he was on the shuttle. Once again the guilt from the night before haunted him and this time Heero decided that he would put and end to it. Heero headed to the bathroom and felt to make sure his gun was still in his pocket…

You, now I see

Keeping everything inside

You, now I see

Even when I close me eyes

                A man in dark clothing sat a few seats behind Heero on the shuttle. He had planned on following Heero until he was arrested but knew that it would not be possible when he saw Heero walk to the bathroom. The man had noticed the familiar pat for the gun and knew what Heero was about to do. The man wasn't too worried. Heero would still be blamed for the death. It was been planned perfectly. After Heero was sent on the mission to kill the Vice Foreign Minister another agent was sent to make sure that he did his job. This agent had arrived at the apartment not long before Heero and when Relena woke up because of the noise she had been shot. When Heero had arrived if he had only been more alert and not so preoccupied with emotions he would have noticed that there was already blood on the sheets and that it was cold, as well as the body. Why Heero didn't see the open eyes was beyond the other agent. Clearly Relena wasn't sleeping but dead. The second agent smiled as he thought of how close Heero had come to finding him at the apartment. He had waited in silence until Heero had fallen asleep and then he crept out and waited for Heero to be either leave or be arrested. The way the agent saw it he had won. He got to kill the Vice Foreign Minster, a mission he had always wanted, and he got to kill his rival in the agency, the mysterious Heero Yuy, and, he wouldn't be blamed for either death. Heero would carry all the guilt to the grave and this crooked agent would walk away, free of it all.

                "Perfect." The man laughed as a gunshot sounded from the lavatories.

You, now I see

Keeping everything inside

You, now I see

Even when I close my eyes

Owari 


End file.
